


A Short Taskurnalia Ballad

by Sashataakheru



Series: Taskmaster Advent Calendar 2018 [5]
Category: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
Genre: Catholic Festivals, Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas traditions, Competition, D/s, Daddy/boi, Drinking, Feast of Fools, Feasting, Games, Gen, Lord of Misrule, Parties, Poetry, Prizes, Rituals, Saturnalia, Taskmaster Advent Calendar 2018, Whipping, advent calendar fic, all the festivals, ancient Roman festivals, mock sacrifice, revelry - Freeform, winter festivals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 02:06:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16864201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashataakheru/pseuds/Sashataakheru
Summary: Taskmaster Advent Calendar Dec 5: GamesEvery Christmas Eve, Greg gathers together all His special little boys at the Taskmaster house to celebrate Taskurnalia, and see which one of them will win this year and become the Lord of Misrule.





	A Short Taskurnalia Ballad

**Author's Note:**

> This is what I wanted to write for yesterday’s prompt, ngl. It seems they didn’t want that prompt, but this one instead. /mutters about Muses being absolute pricks 
> 
> Also I am definitely going to write a much longer version of this, but I only have so much space in the notebook I’m writing all these poems in, so this one is sadly abridged, for now. Also this is a ridiculous mix of traditions and festivals and I don’t even care. :D

It became a tradition in the Taskmaster house  
That on Christmas Eve, His boys would gather  
Plans had been made, and tasks had been set  
With games and merrimentand and so much laughter  
All with the aim of crowning a Champion  
A King for a Day, the Lord of Misrule,  
Who would be lauded and worshipped until  
Midnight, the time for the glorious Feast of Fools  
And the King was sacrificed to the sun at dawn  
And that was when Christmas officially began  
  
The Taskmaster now had seven special little boys  
To compete for the crown on this dark winter night  
This was the first time that James would compete  
And He was very much looking forward to that  
To see how His brat would compete with the rest  
And whether he’d get the whipping post instead  
They were all very competitive, no one wanted to lose  
Which was half the reason it was just so much fun  
The stakes were meaningless but so very serious  
And the tasks and games the most ridiculous of all  
  
Truth or Dare, Spin the Bottle, and kisses galore  
That was how they always started the contest  
And the dares were all special, silly little tasks  
To get everyone into the spirit of the evening  
And the Taskmaster judged them all as He must  
To award them all points, and begin the counting  
And little Alex kept score, as well as taking part  
Because his Master wouldn’t let him sit it out  
He had to compete too, to try to win the crown  
It was the only time he wasn’t allowed to set tasks  
  
Halfway through the night, Josh was flying ahead  
He was leading the contest, but could still be beaten  
Right on his toes came Alex and Jon, neck and neck  
While poor little Russell brought up the rear guard  
The night wasn’t over yet, it was still anyone’s game  
But the tasks now grew harder to test them so well  
And Russell was able to claw back some ground  
So by the final round, any of them could lose  
It came down to the last task, the very last game  
To decide who would be the next Lord of Misrule  
  
It was such a tight race, the crown was at stake  
The final task tested them all to their limits  
Towers of coins, self-supporting, was the aim  
Chocolate coins the only ones they could use  
They had only ten minutes, and the contest was fierce  
No one dared sabotage, since any of them could win  
The Taskmaster watched them all very closely  
To ensure there was no cheating, and to keep time  
It was the quietest moment of the night so far  
But finally, the whistle blew, and a winner was found  
  
James had triumphed on his very first attempt  
Beating out Josh by three coins and a single point  
To take the crown and become Lord of Misrule  
While Rob’s tower crumbled and last place he came  
And so to the whipping post little Rob was sent  
To take a playful soft whipping from everyone else  
Before James led them out to begin the last feast  
For more games and feasting and an orgy or three  
All to bring on Christmas with the Feast of Fools  
Before sacrificing himself for the sun at dawn  
  
And what a night it would end up being  
The best ever Taskurnalia so far of them all  
And James cried out in mock anger at his death  
As the sunrise drenched them all in new light  
They all stood around and sang carols at dawn  
Holding each other tight, bonded closer than before  
With kisses and hugs and ‘happy Christmas’ to all  
As Alex served glasses of mulled wine so they  
Could raise a toast to the day, to Christmas at last  
And vow to do this all again next Christmas Eve 


End file.
